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Day of show

tickets at the

door only!

With special guests...



control room
I might as well begin with one of our favorite topics: GEAR. A new super computer! Who knew the government would supply the most expensive computer in the world to our research project? Now I am all thumbs at new computer systems or least try to pretend to be. Luckily we have two new members, Ryan Bendure and Doug Reilly to activate and monitor the machine. We have had some test runs and I can tell you, this is not your usual point and click. The computer speaks and has emotions. Performance rating? While it runs multi-level Mofongo equations at a snap, it has a less than professional grade attitude. In fact, the machine is nasty, neurotic and just paranoid. Frank has dubbed it OK Computer because he is always cajoling the thing with "OK Computer...and exactly why isn't a harmonic analysis a good idea?" and so on. But the OK Computer is not without own accomplishments here. It has formulated its own presentation based on an artifact with no physical characteristics, a pure transmission source that the OK Computer will only refer cryptically as "the Radiohead." Chris and I were aghast at first hearing OK Computer's playback at first, which I was quick to attribute to the computer's obvious personality problems. Such angst ridden sounds and themes! Such clashing timbres and textures combined with stretches of nothingness or musical miasma. Where was the power and grandeur so moved us with the Tommy Project? Then curiously Frank started loving it. So Chris and I started looking at this thing. Darren became interested in the research which quickly brought the project to another level. The new members Doug and Ryan contributed special analysis, and a November 27th research session with all members was spectacular and inspiring. All agreed the OK Computer jam to be marked kick-ass and ready for presentation. But the computer's contributions didn't stop there, which brings me to our next big item. In November, the OK Computer identified and tracked the first airborne artifact recovered at the Center. In fact, the artifact is from outer space! The metallic pod-like object measuring little more than a cubic yard crash landed in the Cleveland area and was brought back to the lab under complete secrecy. A cover story that a high altitude weather recorder had crashed into an East Cleveland Kielbasi plant was given to the press. But back at the Center, we knew the object was not only extraterrestial, it was occupied! Why NORAD didn't hand this off to DOD or even SETI was beyond me at the time. But there we were confronting this sphere in an isolated part of the warehouse, nervously eyeing its glowing aperature. Then suddenly it's hatch opened and out tumbled our barely conscious visitor! No, no antennas coming out of his head or tripodal body. It was pretty much ...a dude with bizarre clothes, spiked hair and glowing eyes that scared the hell out of us. (These turned out to be radiation protectors.)This fellow seemed to be in distress so we rushed up to him. Just before he passed out, he croaked out these cryptic words: WE HAVE ASSUMED CONTROL. He said this three times and then he was out cold.

SCI-NET: CRR BULLETIN 082412 CLASSIFIED: Greetings Colleagues! Much has been going on at the Center. But first, as always, remember to keep this bulletin strictly confidential, Protect Your Lab, Stop The Gab, and all that. We have a presentation at Center for Rock Research that will make the Tommy Project look like a high school petri dish experiment. There are so many fantastic and spectacular aspects to the research that I scarcely know where to begin.